Rick The Stick – a comic on the Interwebs

Wednesday: Click, Click, Click…

It had been a year and we decided to have a garage sale and get rid of some stuff that never really made it out of being unpacked from our move to Tampa. Two of our neighbors decided to join in, so we were having a “MEGA GARAGE SALE”.

Being a designer, I made up some flyers. NOTE: this was pre-RocketBoy. We procrastinated and ended up hanging them up the night before the sale. It took us until nearly midnight to hang about thirty flyers in about a mile and a half radius from our house – hitting all the key intersections with arrows on the signs for direction.

When we were about 27 signs into it when a strange thing happened. I was hanging my sign on a busy intersection using a staple gun when I heard something in the distance. It wasn’t close enough and sounded like someone talking and I paid no attention.

Until it started getting closer.

When I could make out the sound I turned my head around to see an older woman (say 60-something) walking towards me yelling “CLICK, CLICK, CLICK! CLICK, CLICK, CLICK!”

Interesting in it’s own right, but it appeared that this woman was intoxicated as she walked criss-cross through the intersection – and never looked. My first concern was…she could get hit and I don’t want to be up all night filling out a police report. My second thought was, I’d hate for someone to ruin their car. Finally, I was thinking – is this woman drunk, on drugs and am I going to have to punch an old lady?

My final thought was justified as she came within six inches from me yelling “CLICK, CLICK, CLICK”. I couldn’t see her hands so I had no idea if she had a knife or anything else for that matter. It’s just strange when someone walks across an intersection with obviously no regard for their own safety so I thought I should be ready for anything.

Regardless, when she got that close, I turned towards her and I think my size startled her and she stumbled back a few feet, still yelling “CLICK, CLICK, CLICK”. I then was able to discern that she only had a cigarette in her hand so I lowered the staple gun a little. Very manly, I know.

That’s when the fun started.

“What the f**k are you doin’?” she slurred.
“Just putting up some garage sale signs”, I replied trying to control the situation.

Then came the line that instantly became a classic to me.

“Nobody wants to buy your s#!t”!

Amazed at the greatness I had just heard I uttered, “you’re probably right”.

Me agreeing was totally lost on her, but it got better. The greatness was quickly eclipsed by the awesome…

“You can’t just walk around click, click, click and click, click, click…no body’s gonna buy your s#!t! No body wants your s#!t!! I know where you live! No one wants to buy your s#!t!”

I leaned towards her and said – “well I know where you live too.”

She stopped, thought about it a second and turned to walk away mumbling click, click, click and other gems until I couldn’t hear her anymore.

I stapled the last corner of the flyer and headed back to the truck where my wife was waiting.

Michelle asked, “what did she say?”

Hope you liked today’s story time! Have a great day everyone!!
Ken

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I hope someone got that…Good night, Topsham Four Corners, Vermont